this world can really pull at you! unintentionally, i find myself ascribing worth to those who are doing things outside the home- great things, fun things, adventurous things. lately, mainly since having kids, i find myself seeing real worth in those moms who really invest in their kids. that’s the kind of mom i want to be. God gives us these years that we can really invest- why would i want to waste those elsewhere? i am totally not saying that you cannot do other things. because i think we need it to stay sane. but i want my priority to be my husband, my kids- our family. i believe that’s what the Lord has called me to.
but contentment in this role can get hard. my nature is to be doing things and i can get distracted in to doing other things. i’m finding when i really center myself, spend time in God’s Word and prayer- that i am a better mom for it. i find myself enjoying my kids more. it sounds simple. but honestly when i am in the middle of the yuck- it’s hard to remember. and with two toddlers and an infant- there is a lot of yuck! God is so sweet to me though. thankfully he has given me these wonderful kids who i adore, who love me so much and each other. so it’s really a great deal.
check out this picture! i love it. it’s the day we brought Karis home. i love the delight in the boys faces. they are meeting someone, bringing her into their home. someone whom will be a part of their lives forever, who will have a part in making them who they will be.

I am reading this book by Sally Clarkson and really liking it! what i am reading now is about worry as a mom, praying for wisdom. and it really speaks to me. i think since I have been a mom, i have become a worrier. mama bear is fierce within me! it’s seriously a struggle. i am the type of mom who wants to take out anyone who hurts my kids! so watch out! i do control myself, but the urge is there. Sally talks though about how God cares for us. She says that we are meant to go to God moment by moment. it is meant to be a way of life, a constant rhythm of returning to His presence and His help. but we have to keep in mind that it only happens by our choice.
i want that for me. i want that for my kids to see in me and learn that from me. i want that intimacy and trust with God.
so, i choose contentment. i choose to slow down and listen softly to what God is saying and teaching me. i totally believe that i am learning more through my kids than i will ever teach them!